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“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.” – Ann Morrow Lindbergh
Communication is the buzzword of this era. It is often cited as the root cause of success or failure, be it amongst nations, individuals, relationships, or organisations. Strange as it may seem, even as technological progress in communication seemingly makes things quicker and easier, complaints of feeling misunderstood and mistrust keep growing in quantum leaps.
Exercises in Quest programs bring to the fore instances of effective communication amongst the participants. Participants also witness how behaviour which is contradicting the message to be communicated, leads to mistrust and doubt. This in turn slows down the decision making process and creates bureaucracy within organisations. Effective communication cannot be a product of an isolated speech, but is the sum of all our actions, emotions and thought processes. Non-verbal behaviour, much of which is reflex, contributes to more than 90% of our communication, yet sadly remains the most neglected part of our focus on communication.
When our intentions are reflected adequately in our behaviour, we are walking our talk. Then, it doesn’t matter if we are useful or not useful to another person, there is still trust that we inspire from our colleagues. However, when there is a gap between our actions and intentions, we come across as fake, and as someone whose words cannot be trusted. We feel mis-understood, because we judge ourselves in the light of our intentions, but the world can only witness our actions, and judges us on the basis of that. We hold back our actions, assuming that the people around us will reject us if we act in a certain manner. It is this fear of rejection, which creates of a vicious circle in our lives, and takes us further away from our authentic selves. Great leaders historically have unbashedly displayed their thoughts and views, and inspired people to follow them, irrespective of the criticism generated by those who did not agree with them. They have been great communicators because they spoke from their heart, and their actions lived up to their words.
Listening is another key to great communication. It is said that one should listen to what is being said, listen to what is not being said, and listen to what cannot be said without your help. Listening means we rid ourselves of our pre-conceived notions, prejudices, stereotypes. Tao philosophy states that unless you empty yourself, you cannot take in anything new.
Communication determines the quality of our relationships. As we master communication, we see that we also start walking our talk, and living our value systems. We becomes role models, inspire trust, and are well accepted for who we are, not who we pretend to be. |
